Kids live in their own world, where your problems, job, complicated relationships or desires don't exist. There are times when you feel like you have nothing in common with your child, but sharing your troubles is not the way to develop a stronger relationship. If you want to understand your kid's world and at the same time let them into yours, you need to spend more time together and treat one another as if you're on the same level.
One of the easiest things you can do is try to develop the same hobbies. If you like fishing and generally being outdoors, take your kids for a camping trip at the lake; if you're into model planes, invite your child to join you when you work on them or when you go to an exhibition; if you train karate, sign your child up for classes. On the other hand take an interest in your child's hobbies and learn a thing or two about skateboarding, computer games or photography. Either way just make sure that you're not forcing your child to share an interest, only suggest, show, give them something to think about and let them decide if they do or do not want to join in.
Another way you can get your child to take interest in your life a bit is showing them your work. What you do on a daily basis may seem dull to you, but for a fresh eye it may be a fascinating new world. It doesn't matter if you run your own web design firm, work for a vet's office or are one of numerous associates at a law firm, as long as you show and explain your kid what you do, instead of just hushing and making them sit patiently in the corner. Let your child try their skills on a pen tablet, allow them to sit with a pet in recovery room or take them to court to see how a real proceeding looks like and later on ask for input, ideas or even critique, s that your child feels important and helpful in your work environment.
A lot of families spend evenings in the house, but everybody is in a different room, doing their own thing, not even bothering to get together for dinner. If you see that pattern in your family, you need to break it before you all become strangers. Make a rule that at dinner time you all sit at one table, the TV is off and you talk about your day, plans for tomorrow, the game, or anything else, just as long as you talk. And if the kids have friends over, instead of excusing them from the new tradition bring them into the table and involve in the conversation. Additionally try to have a family breakfast on the weekend, one TV and computer free evening a week where you play games or work on a fun project, and spend part of the weekend as a family going biking, fishing, shopping at the farmers' market or taking the dogs to the beach.
The older your kids get the more independent they grow and the harder it is to get to know them, so if you don't want to become complete strangers by the time they go to college, you need to get to know them and let them get to know you. Buying them toys, games or clothes, even if you go shopping together, is not the solution. If you want to build a bond that will last through the separation of college and adulthood, you need to invest time.
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